been a while

I haven't had anything to say for a while. Things in my life are in a settled state of unsurety....I guess I don't feel sad or angry....I'm just sort of floating along trying to be as content as possible in this intractable situation.

I feel like things are going to work out. And today was the first day that I realized that my youth is almost over....very soon I will no longer have my own place, my own stuff. Very soon I won't be crazy partying camel.....and I don't feel sad, though I do feel a bit worried that I'm not ready...but I also feel like if I don't take the plunge soon I won't be able to. And this is what I told him. Soon. Not now, but soon.

Staying healthy is hard. Staying happy is hard....but things are ok right now.