self-control: do you have it and is it any good?
Me and my best friend were chatting yesterday about a self-control. It got me thinking when she told me that despite the fact that I have repeatedly fooled around with a pseudo-married man, she still feels I have a great deal of self-control. This surprised me, I guess because I am constantly berating myself for my LACK of self-control, Timbuctoo being of course my greatest failing. And nearly every day I eat too much and end up with hight blood sugars or I eat nasty, unhealthy foods. And I don't excercise nearly enough. AND I buy things I don't NEED (like the cute new heeled shoes I just got).
So really, where is the self-control? After a bit of pondering, I realized that like knowledge, self control is very domain specific. That is, I show wonderful self-control in the areas of homework and getting along with people, but have specific weaknesses when it comes to Timbuctoo, chocolate, and my wardrobe. But these things all stem from a deeper problem, that of unfulfilment in general. I mean, were I less stressed and had more time for eating and excercising properly, I would probably not be such a failure...and anyways, I fail less than many people. But because I am unhappy with my level of competence in these areas, I see them as major failures of self-control. So not only is self-control domain-specific but individually determined as those things in our life for which we wish we did better.
By way of a second example, my Timbuctoo SNAFU comes about in part by a lack of other attractive mates and far too long without one. It seems likely that the five years without a proper boyfriend in some way contributed to my inability to fend off putting myself in dangerous situations.
Probably most people would see these musings as excuses...I know I do. But are they? These ARE the reasons. I can't bear to think that I am a bad or lazy person, and don't think I am....perhaps I am compared to some and a pardigm of wholesomenss next to others....
So really, where is the self-control? After a bit of pondering, I realized that like knowledge, self control is very domain specific. That is, I show wonderful self-control in the areas of homework and getting along with people, but have specific weaknesses when it comes to Timbuctoo, chocolate, and my wardrobe. But these things all stem from a deeper problem, that of unfulfilment in general. I mean, were I less stressed and had more time for eating and excercising properly, I would probably not be such a failure...and anyways, I fail less than many people. But because I am unhappy with my level of competence in these areas, I see them as major failures of self-control. So not only is self-control domain-specific but individually determined as those things in our life for which we wish we did better.
By way of a second example, my Timbuctoo SNAFU comes about in part by a lack of other attractive mates and far too long without one. It seems likely that the five years without a proper boyfriend in some way contributed to my inability to fend off putting myself in dangerous situations.
Probably most people would see these musings as excuses...I know I do. But are they? These ARE the reasons. I can't bear to think that I am a bad or lazy person, and don't think I am....perhaps I am compared to some and a pardigm of wholesomenss next to others....
posted by Camel at 4:13 p.m.
1 Comments:
Reasons, excuses....we all got em'! We all come up short in some areas, and meet the mark in others. That's just all part of being human. I don't think you should beat yourself up to much over this stuff. Your battle with what is right -vs- what feels right -vs- eating too much chocolate -vs- whatever, will work its way out in the end. It sounds like you have to good a head on your sholders for it not to!
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