Insecure camel
Sigh. Today was not a good day. I was relatively productive with work, but didn't finish anything.
Big Q has made his display picture one of me at his graduation giving him a hug...this served a double purpose of making me feel fat (I look terrible!..no misperception...I don't know WHY he posted that pic) AND of making me sad that I haven't been talking to him much....:(
Roomie declined to go out today because she had work to do...so I feel like a slacker....though in general I must have been bitchy today cuz I had coffee with her and another grad student today and was mostly annoyed listening to her talk about her thoughts on altruism...not that they were bad or boring...but because she just went off on the topic in her lecture voice...and didn't really address what the other student had said...she was just lecturing us on her views...which I found annoying...but maybe that's cuz I've heard it before and cuz I'm bitchy....
The high school soap opera in my head continued today with a major social faux pas....I had been thinking I should stop inviting Cody to do things all the time...though it is in my nature to invite people out all the time....and combined with the fact that I chat with him alot, this leads to said occurrence...anyway...I had decided I should stop being so inviting because at lunch time he and I were chatting and he said he was going for lunch and I said that I was just down the street from where he said he was going...in a coffee shop working and that he should drop by if he is bored on his voyage...which he didn't....which I think I justifiably interpreted as disinterest....but then I later invited him to join us for a movie because he was msning me while we picked out a video to watch...I shouldn't have...but he had brought up eating....so maybe he was gonna ask me out for dinner...who knows....and then I proceeded to give him all the details of the said event because he was supposed to be talking to another of our friends who was supposed to be coming....ah....pathetic camel.
And I have been nibblling at my nails which have finally grown a bit.
I am hereby imposing a strict ban on inviting Cody anywhere except Margaritaville on Wednesday...no more subtle hints that I'd like to see him...uh uh...my self-esteem can't deal with it. Better he think I'm not intersested than too interested....ahhhhhhh...why am I so ridiculous....why do even care?!!!!
Big Q has made his display picture one of me at his graduation giving him a hug...this served a double purpose of making me feel fat (I look terrible!..no misperception...I don't know WHY he posted that pic) AND of making me sad that I haven't been talking to him much....:(
Roomie declined to go out today because she had work to do...so I feel like a slacker....though in general I must have been bitchy today cuz I had coffee with her and another grad student today and was mostly annoyed listening to her talk about her thoughts on altruism...not that they were bad or boring...but because she just went off on the topic in her lecture voice...and didn't really address what the other student had said...she was just lecturing us on her views...which I found annoying...but maybe that's cuz I've heard it before and cuz I'm bitchy....
The high school soap opera in my head continued today with a major social faux pas....I had been thinking I should stop inviting Cody to do things all the time...though it is in my nature to invite people out all the time....and combined with the fact that I chat with him alot, this leads to said occurrence...anyway...I had decided I should stop being so inviting because at lunch time he and I were chatting and he said he was going for lunch and I said that I was just down the street from where he said he was going...in a coffee shop working and that he should drop by if he is bored on his voyage...which he didn't....which I think I justifiably interpreted as disinterest....but then I later invited him to join us for a movie because he was msning me while we picked out a video to watch...I shouldn't have...but he had brought up eating....so maybe he was gonna ask me out for dinner...who knows....and then I proceeded to give him all the details of the said event because he was supposed to be talking to another of our friends who was supposed to be coming....ah....pathetic camel.
And I have been nibblling at my nails which have finally grown a bit.
I am hereby imposing a strict ban on inviting Cody anywhere except Margaritaville on Wednesday...no more subtle hints that I'd like to see him...uh uh...my self-esteem can't deal with it. Better he think I'm not intersested than too interested....ahhhhhhh...why am I so ridiculous....why do even care?!!!!
posted by Camel at 12:26 a.m.
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