no peace

I feel very anxious right now...on edge....like I'm failing at something...

Indeed this last week has shown me I am failing at a few things, but I don't think this is the cause.

Clearly I have become so exhausted by my life that simple etiquette and tact have become a lost art...and the art of being sociable has nearly left me completely. I felt it over and over again...pure exhaustion and no interest in talking or getting to know people...just exhaustion. I hated it...I felt boring and uninteresting and unfriendly. I hated it.

But now, I just feel wasted...as though there are so many things I SHOULD be doing but am unwilling to do.....though I have done a few of the thins I wanted to do today, I have mostly taken it easy....is this lethargy the result of much needed rest or something else? I just feel BLAH.

I want to be healthy, I want to be productive, I want to be good. But right now I don't want to be anything...not asleep, not awake...just at rest...but I am not....I feel tortured by expectation and frustration.....where is my peace?