creased

Today I feel annoyed. I did almost no work and had almost no desire to do work. Plus I scraped my arm and am feeling like I want to be single. I hate this. I hate this.

I don't know what to do with myself any more. I need Timbuctoo to be here or be gone. I hate this in between.

Bah. Why are things so complicated. I don't want to complain about him. That's not why I feel cranky today. I feel cranky today because I am frustrated with my paper. So frustrated I don't even want to write about it. I hate that.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Where is Jaxx? Maybe part of my mild obsession with him is related to the fact that because I can only talk to him when I'm pretending my life is a little different, that I can pretend away all of the thins that make me unhappy....a nice little bubble of utopia. Poor Jaxx. I know he's a real person who doesn't deserve to be a part of my fantasy world. I know he could never be perfect.

I need to find some peace.

And I need to not give any thought to what it would be like to be with someone who is the complete opposite of Timbuctoo (I'm thinking Mr. Greene...Frizzy's right...he's awesome...it's absurd that he's single...and we totally hit it off).........sigh....I'm so old.....how can I be this frisky? Why do I feel unprepared for commitment? Is it because he's not committed? God I hope so....I can't take much more of this.