world sucks

Every day that goes by I feel more and more distant from Timbuctoo. Every time I hear from him, I don't feel less hopeful, just more like I don't want to bother with this anymore. That's what happens when you don't see someone. And I kinda have to wonder if that's happening with him.

The whole thing is just dumb. He emailed me today to say his therapist said it would be "best for all parties involved" if he didn't see me for a while. Who exactly are these parties? What am I supposed to do? Sit around and wait? Fuck that. Clearly this is better for her, because it just means Timbuctoo's not cheating on her, and it COULD be better for Timbuctoo in the sense of forgetting about me, but given that his relationship with her is crap, that's hardly the case...., and me? Well, out of sight out of mind, which is good until my exam, but then what. Sit around and wait? I'm just frustrated.

I mean, I know that it is important he deals with his issues, but that also always seems to involve him putting me on hold. There's never any putting her on hold...why didn't he encourage her to start in June instead of September, the jerk. I mean how much LESS complicated would things have been?

I just don't know if I'm doing the right thing by just letting things happen here. I have the sneaking suspicion that I would save myself a huge amount of heart ache and time if I just walked away now.