dear blog....

save me from myself. My motivation is lying somewhere underneath his clothes, my self respect hasn't been seen since I sat on that wooden step.

Every day the people I care something about wake up and walk around thier world and I float in and out of it....I watch myself watching them. And the rock in my belly just gets heavier. I don't care so much that I can't tell them. I just hate that he isn't with me enjoying them too.

And I spend minute after minute thinking about how I should be working and what I should be doing and still I watch my msn and my emal knowing I am getting nowhere.

So much to distract me. So little to live for. So much to live for.