what am I doing?!
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
Unfortunately, currently the road less travelled is the wrong one. So, Timbuctoo came over and we had a chat today. As we often do when we fall off the wagon. In truth, as in many cases, he and I both looked forward to the chat...as an excuse to see each other. And also it is concerning that this has happened often enough that I don't feel bad for long because I've become an expert at dealing with it. Not cool.
Anyway, we talked. I told him about meeting the boy at the pub. Because I thought it important he know, just in case he asks me out and I say yes. Point is that this discussion was pretty honest. He told me, again, that me with another guy would be awful for him...knowing he has no right to feel that way.
But it's also the case that he's on the fence still about leaving his gf. And as much as I believe he feels for me, the fact is that I am waiting around for him to make a decision. And it's wrong. I mean, it's true that it's complicated...I know he has feelings for me, but I also shouldn't be waiting around for someone who's not completely sure.
So that's that. If the guy asks me out, then I'm going to say yes. I have to. I mean, this is wrong. I mean, all I'm doing by allowing this to go on is allowing Timbuctoo to not make his decision. Like I've said a million times, to have his cake and eat it to. I really need to deal with this.
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
Unfortunately, currently the road less travelled is the wrong one. So, Timbuctoo came over and we had a chat today. As we often do when we fall off the wagon. In truth, as in many cases, he and I both looked forward to the chat...as an excuse to see each other. And also it is concerning that this has happened often enough that I don't feel bad for long because I've become an expert at dealing with it. Not cool.
Anyway, we talked. I told him about meeting the boy at the pub. Because I thought it important he know, just in case he asks me out and I say yes. Point is that this discussion was pretty honest. He told me, again, that me with another guy would be awful for him...knowing he has no right to feel that way.
But it's also the case that he's on the fence still about leaving his gf. And as much as I believe he feels for me, the fact is that I am waiting around for him to make a decision. And it's wrong. I mean, it's true that it's complicated...I know he has feelings for me, but I also shouldn't be waiting around for someone who's not completely sure.
So that's that. If the guy asks me out, then I'm going to say yes. I have to. I mean, this is wrong. I mean, all I'm doing by allowing this to go on is allowing Timbuctoo to not make his decision. Like I've said a million times, to have his cake and eat it to. I really need to deal with this.
posted by Camel at 8:21 p.m.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home