Well, what is there to say really? I'm busy, I'm confused. I waver between self-loathing and boredom. I don't know what it is that makes me always so malcontent, but I wish I could choke it out. I guess the issue is that I'm a grad student so being over busy is what's doing it, but even Smiley says that I lack balance in my life.

And what do I think balance is? Having a bf. Obviously that bs, but how do I convince myself of that? How do I convince myself that balance is time with friends, healthy eating, excercise, work, and love? I want those things, I just prioritize them in extreme ways.