Let go
Ok, I'm failing miserably here. Miserably. And I don't know what to do with myself. I am quickly, quickly screwing this up. Here's what needs to happen...though it's probalby far too late:
If Cody = (driving, home, Camel) then
If Cody !(leaning towards, Camel) then
Leave(Camel, Car)
Else
Wait(Camel, Car)
End if
And if you understand that then you have some potential.
I am not sure what's going on still. He invited me over...but didn't come to improv. He put his hand on my back, but didn't try to hold my hand (but his roommate was there)....I tried not to touch him too much or to look at him too much....he drove me home and sat chatting again...and didn't even look like he wanted to kiss me....so I asked if he was playing with me...he said "maybe"... so I said "fine, I can leave"....but I didn't....I always do but I DIDN'T.
And that boys and girls is how you ruin a perfectly good sense of self-respect.
I hesitated and looked at him and he had taken off his glasses and he kissed me. And while it was a nice kiss, I'm pretty sure he said..."ok"...as in "ok, that's enough, time to go"....to which I of couse responded by bolting....this is out of hand.
Not only do I think he's not interested, but I am starting to feel dependent because I seem to be basing some level of my happiness on my interactions with him. This is absurd.
And I did say we'd celebrate his birthday tommorrow, but now I don't know if I should do something or not. I don't want him to think I'm....I don't know...desperate, but I don't want him to feel like I'm not interested or unthoughtful since I said we WOULD celerate it. I'm very confused. It's only going to get worse.
If Cody = (driving, home, Camel) then
If Cody !(leaning towards, Camel) then
Leave(Camel, Car)
Else
Wait(Camel, Car)
End if
And if you understand that then you have some potential.
I am not sure what's going on still. He invited me over...but didn't come to improv. He put his hand on my back, but didn't try to hold my hand (but his roommate was there)....I tried not to touch him too much or to look at him too much....he drove me home and sat chatting again...and didn't even look like he wanted to kiss me....so I asked if he was playing with me...he said "maybe"... so I said "fine, I can leave"....but I didn't....I always do but I DIDN'T.
And that boys and girls is how you ruin a perfectly good sense of self-respect.
I hesitated and looked at him and he had taken off his glasses and he kissed me. And while it was a nice kiss, I'm pretty sure he said..."ok"...as in "ok, that's enough, time to go"....to which I of couse responded by bolting....this is out of hand.
Not only do I think he's not interested, but I am starting to feel dependent because I seem to be basing some level of my happiness on my interactions with him. This is absurd.
And I did say we'd celebrate his birthday tommorrow, but now I don't know if I should do something or not. I don't want him to think I'm....I don't know...desperate, but I don't want him to feel like I'm not interested or unthoughtful since I said we WOULD celerate it. I'm very confused. It's only going to get worse.
posted by Camel at 1:21 a.m.
1 Comments:
Hey! Where've ya been? Look at me, I'm falling apart.....haha...well, things aren't nearly as ridiculous as I make them out to be...I just can't seem to get my own brain under control....maybe I don't have enough work to do....but as always, you're right.
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