junkie

Still a junkie. Still spent the night waiting for him. Still jumped at his beck and msn call. Still pathetic. Still in limbo. I ought to just say I'm busy and go back to work. Or tell him that I need some space because this is eating me up inside.

I was hoping this feeling would be gone by ball season. But it won't be. And it's only my need for drama that maintains it....

I wish that I could just move on and be interested in someone else but every time I feel a hint of attraction to someone I feel like I need to put it away, just like I did while I was with my long term bf, way back in the day. Which is stupid cuz there is no commitment here. There isn't even the possibility for Pete's sake.

Sigh. I'm such a fool. Addicted to a real bad thing.