things that go bump in the night

So you know those emails that you can forward to your friends and get them to fill out and send back? Well, one went around last week from some of my past friends....and included on the list was my ex of years ago...THE ex. And I was considering emailing him to see how he was...it was kind of a weird break up and I was really upset at the time. After I got over it I was glad we had broken up....so I thought it might be nice to email him to see what was new.

Well, I've been busy and haven't bother...but he responded to the forward (sent it to the whole list) and I was reading along thinking about how we really had had a few things in common when it suddenly became apparent that he is engaged. And that hit me like a brick wall.

I was glad to see he wasn't marrying the girl he'd been seeing for like four years that everyone hated (I didn't know her)....but I don't know what I felt...not regret....jealousy, I think....sad that he had something I wanted...not him...but a real relationship with a future.

And I immediately wanted some male attention which is the most annoying of all of this. Why is it that when we feel vulnerable we always want to put ourselves in comprimising positions. Arg. Anyway, I feel a little depressed now. He sounded so happy. And I'm glad he's happy but sad that I'm not.

And I really need groceries...chocolate and chips do not a meal make....yuck.