some days

Somedays you're just not sure you're gonna make it. You wander around wondering what the hell happiness is. And if you have it....or if it's a bad day, if you ever will. The happy moments are quickly overshadowed by the insecure ones. And every other minute is filled with trying to stay caught up and win the race. And you wonder if you appear as you hope. And wish you could just ask. And you want to be so many things...but your conviction and your self-discipline seems so far away. Where did it go? You know you had it at one time. You felt it, but now you can't seem to stick with anything. Never mind the accomplishments everyone else sees....it's the things they call personality ticks that make you want to hide your head under your bed. And you know it could have been so much worse, but you still want to run and scream and throw rocks.