I want to want

So I think I have finally accepted something about myself. I was getting all gussied up for the day this morning and I was thinking about Jesse. And I kinda missed him but not really. And it kinda hit me that I didn't REALLY miss HIM. I just want someone to want. I feel bored without someone to pine for or to at least try to win over.

So when I'm too busy to dream about boys then I don't miss anyone. Ha. Ridiculous.

I mean what is it about love that makes it so....so.....incorrigible....I mean I really believe that I would throw everything away for love. I mean it. And it's ridiculous. I mean true and everlasting love, ok, of course. But romantic love is so easy to throw things away for....because its romantic. I love to be tortured by love. That's why I can't get enough romantic comedies in my life....

I wonder what it would be like to be a member of a culture that didn't value romantic love so much....one where arranged marriages were not uncommon. Or one where ideals such as dying for your country were more....common.