so about Jesse

So I know I've been talking about the Firefighter a lot, but I am just gonna stop and take stock of my feelings right now. I say this because I was at this TA workshop a couple of days ago and there was this guy there that I was attracted to, but I found myself wondering whether it was worth pursuing because it might mean the end of my pseudo-romance with the Firefighter. Now that IS concerning isn't it? I mean the Firefighter is great but a girl's gotta be realistic.

I also think a lot about the Firefighter in the context of Jesse. Of the two, Jesse is the one I could see spontaneously flying out to see me (tho still highly unlikely). But if he did that, what would I do? Well, the consensus in my mind is that I would tell the Firefighter about Jesse coming (he knows about him already) but I wouldn't tell Jesse about the Firefighter (he wouldn't want to know). And I am not sure which relationship I'd be willing to sacrifice.

But I am starting to think that I really need to let go of Jesse. I just don't want to. I want him around whenever no one else will distract me. Anyway, here's some lyrics for Jesse.

You've got ways
To take hold of my thoughts
Over-riding my senses
Lock your sights
Dead in line with your heart
Share your powers
You stir my soul
And whet my hunger
And weave that spell
That pulls me under

...Moonlight Desires by Lawrence Gowan