what's the point II

My friend from my ball team emailed me to confirm our dinner plans for tommorrow saying "I'm not sure anyone else is coming but..." Now I am not sure if I feel sad about this or not. I mean she was really the only person I felt a real connection with. But I feel like I knew these people for three years and so I should feel sad. Not to mention that everyone gets excited when other people are in town to visit. I suppose there's two reasons...my visit is almost over so they know they weren't at the top of the list....and I didn't socialize with them all that much when I lived here...probably mostly cuz I had other friends that were closer and would be hurt if I spent more time with my ball team..I mean they got ALOT of my time for ball.

It's really tough to realize that you have to prioritize people. And I guess I sort of equate my ball team with the in-crowd. Maybe just because my other friends were a bit jealous of the fun I had with them or maybe because I never felt exactly like I could trust them. I don't know.

In my heart I know I am not upset, maybe even relieved that I am relieved of the responsibility of staying in touch.