Encounters with Jesse James

It's hard to believe this is the first ever post devoted to Jesse James. I have known him since my second year of university. And dating him was a rather large SNAFU involving the loss of one so-called best friend. But that is water under the bridge.

Knowing Jesse has been a turbulent ride to say the least. He's definitely not like other guys. And my best friend argues convincingly that this is the reason why we are still in touch seven years later. Because I love the challenge. SEVEN YEARS!! That number always startles me.

Anyway, got together with Jesse Sunday night. Had a fantastic time, with the obligatory fight in the middle of the night. It blows my mind how I always end an evening with Jesse in a state of frustration. Regardless, the rest of the night more than overshadows that commonality.

Two things really. First, he talked to me about he feels unsettled in his life. Pretty much because next on the "be a good boy" to do list is "get married". But it was so unbelievable to talk to him about something so intimate. Jesse tends to appear to not have emotions. This was a clear indication otherwise. And the sense of vulnerability about him was intoxicating.

Second, he kept holding my hand. Which is something he will do, but I can't remember him ever doing it without prompting. But Sunday night he just grabbed my hand, locked our fingers together and squeezed. And he did it repeatedly over the night. Really, I just can't relate how good that felt. I don't think I ever really felt quite so wanted as I did then.

Wow. Anyway, more feelings to follow.