time to think

So now that I've had time to breathe, here's what's going on in this crazy little head of mine. It seems like things have cooled off with the Firefigther a bit...between me drilling into myself the fact that someday he's gonna go out on a date with someone else and like them, and him going back to work and so not having hours of time free to chat. I feel sad about it. I do really like this guy. But I also feel like I need to grow up and not always imagine that there will be a happy ending someday. It's making it hard to let go of things (Look at Jesse).

Anyway, I keep finding myself longing for the Firefighter's attention and I haven't chatted with him in two days. I sent him a text message tonight which he hasn't yet returned and I feel sad. He told me he got home at 5:30am one day last week, when I found him online as I was getting up. I keep thinking about it. Classic girl: "who was he with?" On the one hand he didn't have to tell me he'd just got home. He didn't have to come online (unless he was adding someone new to his msn....). But he hasn't told me what he was doing either...and if you are out until 5:30 then presumably you had a time worth telling.

I know it's none of my business and I only asked once after the fact, so I'm not pushing it and it's probably nothing anyway. Fact is that if it was something then it's none of my business anyway. Sigh. Silly camel. I really do need someone to crush on. I'm not sure if that's pathetic or not. I'm not even sure if this is just a crush. Curses.